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Monday, November 27, 2023

Ketamine part two, session one





Okay, I finally got here!  I was blessed to have my mom be my support person this time since I am doing this at home.  I decided to go through an online option due to cost and time constraints.  I went through Mindbloom.  https://www.mindbloom.com/us  

I have to say, I am more than impressed comparing this to my previous experience.  My first experience with ketamine therapy was in 2021, in office and a therapist as well I would meet with the next day.  I did 7 sessions over several months and it was phenomenal.  One thing I remember was patients telling me I had a glow about me, a light feeling and seemed genuinely happy.  Guess it showed!  That is exactly how I felt with the first treatment...like 1000 lbs was taken off my shoulders and understanding myself and it was more than amazing for me.

Back to present day.  I signed up, it was a little over 1000 dollars for 6 treatments.

~Met with my practitioner to see if I was a candidate.  Appt was on zoom and lasted about 30 minutes. 

~Received my Bloombox in the mail and the ketamine in a different delivery.  Bloombox had eye mask, automatic bp cuff, journal/pen and a book for the checklist of things to do prior to treatment.  

~ I set up an appt for the first session with a guide.  Which I have to say, I really like her!  Thank goodness.   There was a lot of education prior , much I knew but she also taught me more than my previous treatment.  

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Recommendations reading through ketamine treatment.  

1.  Have an intention, not an agenda

2. Reflect on it and let it go

3. What are we hoping to change?

4. Be open for anything, do not try to control it

5. Are subconscious brain does not think in a logical/linear fashion

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Journal right after

Mind set:

            1. Be open

            2. Relax before your treatment

           3. Have compassion for yourself


4. Remember painful things we will come up while your healing


5. YOU WILL BE IN A VERY INFLUENTIAL STATE.  Avoid suggestive things such as social media, intense movies or being around people that can be triggering.


6. Stay quiet the rest of the day, relax

 

Integration:

1.      Territory is considered the world, our map is the abstract representation of the         world  

2.      Depression/anxiety-we are trapped in an abstract versus reality, trying to make      sense of what happened.

3.      Then deciding what to do with this information.

4.      Enacting insight for lasting change

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Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In the space, we have the power to choose our response

In our response lies the growth and our freedom

Big changes come in small increments

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~Prior to taking ketamine:  *MAKE INTENTION more about that later

1. No eating 3 hours prior (nausea can occur) 

2. No drinking fluids one hour prior (same reason) 

3. Take anti-nausea one hour prior to ketamine. 

4. Avoid caffeine or stimulants the day of.  Also brush teeth prior so the ketamine absorption isn't fighting the biofilm on your gums/teeth.

5. Avoid alcohol or THC 2 days prior and 2 days after.  **Interesting fact, Ketamine and THC both bind to NMDA receptor.   The N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptor is receptor of glutamate, the primary excitatory neurotransmitter in the human brain. It plays an integral role in synaptic plasticity, which is a neuronal mechanism believed to be the basis of memory formation. 

6. I did this treatment in my room on my bed, which is adjustable. Had my favorite scentsy going.  

7. Once my instructions and education portion was done with my guide.  We got off zoom and I took the ketamine buccally. Tastes horrible- dissolves quickly.  CANNOT swallow this like the troches I used in the past.  It causes more side effects and can make the session last hours as well.  Have to spit out at 7 minutes and lay back listening to my chosen music from Mindbloom.  

 8. Aprox 8 minutes in, I could feel it kicking in.  It is a full body and mind relaxation. (for someone like me that is wound like an 8 day clock, that feels amazing!)  

9. Mom was told to nudge me at 60 minutes, journal for 30 and then jump back on zoom. 

10. I felt like my body was concrete, but also floating at the same time.   I came out at 40 minutes, although likely more like 30+ but still sat there in a relaxed state.   I was fully aware of my surroundings, which hasn't been my experience but we started low.  400mg, which is about 15-20% bioavailable in this form.   

11. Got back onto zoom with my guide- didn't have much to tell with my experience but we talked about 30 minutes. 

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~Homework assignment:

1. Anything I feel coming up that causes anxiety or impacts me set a boundary and have a sense of calm and safety.  

2. Rediscovery of self- reflect on things I love about myself, prior to this most recent relationship that started this whole process over. 

3. Grieve- use it to empower myself to move on.

4. If there is deja vu feelings- get curious and delve into it more. Its our brain telling us something is surfacing from subconscious.

5. Avoid THC completely, it binds to the NMDA receptors which Ketamine also dose and you want the ketamine to keep that window open for neuroplasticity. ( I normally use to help sleep) The window is open from 48 hours to 5 days. Which is why you want to do every 3-7 days since it is a cumulative effect. 

6. Listen to your body when something doesn't feel right.  

7. Acknowledging the problem and taking this step is cause to celebrate. MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT A LINEAR LINE.  For some silly reason, I thought after my last treatment I was good to go forever! Well until I let a narcissist back into my life and started this horrible pattern again.  

8. I relaxed the rest of the day.  Had some good reflection and am really excited to be in this journey again. HOWEVER, its really hard to feel raw like this at all times. I may look happy go lucky on social media, but I have cried every day for weeks, am in pain emotionally and feel so fucking raw.  It will get better though :) 

9. I heard back from the practitioner and next time-tomorrow 11/28/23, I will be taking 800mg of ketamine. Mom will also be here with me again this time.

***Oh yeah, Intention. This is a big thing with ketamine treatment.  I had too broad of an intention so we narrowed it down.  Objective was to release shame, pain and gain self confidence again and happiness again.

*** More information about that  https://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=263

    

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