This process is so emotionally and physically draining. I look forward to the other side I know is coming. Feeling raw is the best way I can describe it.
Greg was my person with me this time. Went into with open mind, which was kind of the mantra for the day. As was letting go. Usually how this goes is...
You make an intention of what you want to focus on
You listen to a couple of videos, usually less than 5 minutes, from the medical director. Usually great information.
You read about what he talks about
They recommend you shower and brush your teeth (so the medicine absorbs better) I usually sit on my bed because I can change elevation etc of feet and head so I am comfortable.
You take your blood pressure- Prior 100/60 pulse 70 post session-107/62 pulse 65
You start your 'music' , this time was letting go. When this starts you put the medicine between cheek and gums for 7 minutes. There is talking on the music about intention for that 7 minutes and then there is a ding to tell you to spit the medicine out. I felt it again prior to spitting it out.
Then I lay back with a blanket, eye mask on (total darkness even with lights on) and let things go.
I smiled several times, thinking about Greg. He saw me smile too he said.
There is such a relaxation felt when it first starts. The music is more vivid if that makes sense.
I was only under for about 30 minutes. Then was pretty tired so took a nap.
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This weeks "Letting go" session for 7 minutes highlights:
When you let go a little, you have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of happiness
If you let go completely, you will be free
Tasks for living a wise life is letting go, it is a path to freedom.
Letting go of the pain, the fear, the past and the stories that have a hold on you, can quiet your mind and open your heart
You don't have to fear letting go, you can trust the courage and vulnerability of your heart to meet life as it is.
As you let go, the tender ground of healing, honesty and love will carry you
Remember, letting go doesn't make you lose the knowledge that you gained from the past. To let go is to release the images, emotions, the grudges and fears, the clinging to disappointments of the past that bind your spirit.
Letting go is not the same as aversion, struggling to let go. You cannot let go of what you resist
What you fear and resist, secretly follows you as you push it away.
To let go of fear or trauma you acknowledge just how it is. Letting go begins with letting be.
When you learn to let things be, they gradually lose their power. They cease to disturb you. As you allow what is true, space comes into the body and mind. You breathe and soften and come to rest where you are.
Accepting what is so, you become free.
As you approach letting go in your own heart and mind, you can ask yourself, "do I need to continue to replay this story? Do I have to hold on to these losses and feelings? Is it time to let this go?" the heart will know.
There is an organic cycle to letting go. You will feel it as a wisdom that knows it is time to move on. To release the past. To release the concerns and fears and tenderly return to the present.
When you learn to let go, you come to an honest and simple openness just where you are.
Bring kind attention to body and breath and let yourself settle in the ground of the present.
Bring into loving awareness whatever story or feelings or actions that it is time to let go of.
You can acknowledge them gently, betrayal, sadness, anxiety and allow the experience in the space to be. To float without resistance.
Let yourself feel the ease and benefit that will come from this deep letting go. Say to yourself- let go....let go....let go. As you do, soften the body and heart and let any feelings that come up let them drain to the earth.
Feel the openness that comes when you let go. How the heart softens and the space of the body opens.
Now envision the days of the future where this situation has been released. Sense the freedom, the innocence, the ease that this letting go will bring.
Say to yourself again, let go.
Sit quietly to see if the feelings return, often they will. Each time they return, breathe softly and say quietly to them, "I've let you go. I 've returned you to the earth. I do not need to carry you any further. I'm moving on. I've let you go."
Naturally the images and feelings will come back. Sometimes over and over again. Yet as you continue to practice letting go, letting go gently and kindly... they will eventually fade.
Gradually the mind and heart will come to trust the space of letting go.
Gradually the heart will be easy and you will find an opening for well being and freedom. Fresh to move on in your life as you learn to let go.
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