Burnout

 

I haven't talked much about burnout. Boy do I feel this.  I have been in medicine over 25 years, 19 being a practicing PA mostly in FP.  Pandemic, turned this world upside down. People changed. Medicine changed.  Or did I just not notice it before.  The last 4-5 years the amount of work has increased dramatically. Telephone encounters, emails from patients, rx refills, referrals, appts etc not counting all the other crap we do with insurance companies.  The expectations from patients have gone through the roof. Of course not everyone, I have so many very amazing and lovely patients. As you know, we remember the assholes too.  

I am at work every morning at 4am, I start seeing patients at 730 and finish by 330.  Call once a week normally and weekend call every 6 weeks or so.  I have not had good support from my medical assistants which makes my life very stressful because I essentially am doing that job too...to undo mistakes or notice them in the first place. I used to get everything done BEFORE I went home for the day. I can never get caught up now.  It is insane to me how everything is urgent. Hell, I am getting prior auth requests that demand a reply in less than 24 hours to not toss it!? WTH? 

One of my favorite comments recently is, "How could you take any extra time off (1.5 days) when I am this sick?!" Wow.  Another sent a scathing note about how it was ridiculous how it took 4 days to get a call regarding a referral.  Um, I have to see the rest of my patients for the day, do the chart notes after I am done seeing patients, start referral, our referral person has to send it to appropriate place with appropriate notes and then the other office can take 2 weeks sometimes to call.  This issue I referred for has literally been 8 years now.  No worse, just tired of it.  Not life saving or anything.  

I had to reply to let her know that I was really sorry for her frustration but 2 hours after I saw her I got the call my dad died and I STILL DID ALL MY NOTES AND REFERRALS/RXS THE NEXT AM.  If that isn't good enough, fuck off and go somewhere else! See how quickly things get done. I know I work my ass off for my patients, which is why that crap is so frustrating.  

I know I have not enjoyed medicine like I used to for several years. Nothing is improving.  Nobody seems to understand the severity of how I feel. I told two of the owners that I literally have cried coming to work because I don't want to do this anymore. I question practicing medicine. I question what I should do.  Which pisses me off, I LOVE family practice and what I do.  I don't know the answer, but I feel like if one doesn't come to me soon, I may run away and live up in the woods in a tent!