5th Ketamine treatment

 

BP prior 114/62 pulse 68   after 120/68  pulse 64

Phew, after that last one, I was really nervous about having another intense experience.  Greg was with me today and he is so cute...afterwards I asked if he looked at me at all during the ketamine since he was laying right beside me.  No, I didnt want to move and disrupt you!  Poor guy lol

This was more of a deep meditation.  I was aware of surroundings and smiled the entire time.  Felt so much happiness, love and light. I told Greg yesterday (2 days after treatment) I felt like I didnt have an elephant sitting on me crushing my soul.  I can talk about things and not cry.  I feel like I have grieved my friend, forgave myself for ignoring red flags etc.  Its still new, I am sure I will have setbacks but I will take all I can get!  

Towards the end of the ketamine when I felt like I was coming out a bit, I reached over and held his hand.  So comforting to have him next to me.  He is amazing. Has supported all this nutty shit I have been going through. I cant imagine what I would be without him.  He may not understand totally what I am going through, but he listens, understands and allows whatever I need to occur.  Love him so much.

I have one more treatment, then will likely extend for 6 more sessions.  I feel like the 4th was a breakthrough and want to keep momentum.  I am so happy this is working for me like it did last time.  I knew I would get here someday, just didnt know how long it would take me to get out of this hole I was in emotionally.  

It is time to be happy :)