Scheduled today for session two
My intention for today is letting go of grief. Grief that holds on to me like a vice. Sadness of trusting someone who wasn't who I thought they were and the grief of me going backwards in my recovery. I do know, I will come out the other side better, more confident and able to see these types of people for who they are and not allow them into my precious circle.
https://helloinnerwell.com/reflections/135-intention-setting-examples-for-ketamine-therapy
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I am in a good place this morning. Feeling emotional but also still excited for the healing process. I need to remember to let go during the ketamine experience. Not try to understand etc, just feel it, get curious etc.
I am rediscovery of myself mode. Remembering who I was prior to this last set back. I completely lost myself and felt like a shell of a person. Which is infuriating, I was doing so amazing prior to this. Although, was I really? Would I have let this person in and hurt me if I was in a good place? Well maybe. I was trying to help, be there for someone I cared about. I just went to the extreme and gave all I had and in turn, emptied my own tank. I was asked to reflect on what I loved about myself prior to this set back.
I love that I care about people, no matter who or where they are in life.
I love that I love people the way I do, so intensely. I just need to give it to the right people.
I love that I had calmness, safety and understanding of who I was after my first ketamine therapy.
I love that I was a better wife, friend and provider because I went through the fire and came out the other side.
I love that I had control over my emotions, could have a conversation without crying. I was NEVER able to have a confrontation without crying even if in a calm conversation. I will get there again. DAMN IT I WILL! It was such an amazing after effect of ketamine treatment that I never had until 2 years ago.
I love that the lightness I felt emotionally etc was for the first time in my life.
I love that I reconnected with other lifelong friends and still have them in my life :)
Today, I love and appreciate the people I realize love and care about me. I don't think I ever really knew this but this, but there are so many people from so many different aspects of my life that are behind me, are there for me and I am humbled by that. I think I am normally in the " I need to help people" mode, ie being a PA and in the caregiver role makes that obvious.
I listened to a video Mindbloom sent me about my goals. Here is the info, ketamine is so fascinating to me!
~The more impulses along neurons the stronger they become. New skills, behaviors, etc is part of what you are doing with ketamine...wiring/bonding this information. This is why repetition skills are easier to perform. This includes ruminating thoughts, patterns of depression/anxiety, there is less resistance to go that path. The more it is done, the stronger the path.
~When the brain has chronic stress, it is harder for the neurons to sustain or connect. They tend to wither away and have reduced neuroplasticity. It keeps you from making new pathways bc the circuits will predominate in that direction
~Ketamine causes grooves to disappear, brain is more flexible, MALLEABLE, and easier to develop new behavior. that’s 3-7 days after Ketamine. It is CUMULATIVE
Will update more after my treatment today......
T.L.O. Framework — Trust
This program is going to give you the tools to dive deeper into your experiences and navigate your sessions with greater confidence.
The T.L.O. – Trust, Let Go, Be Open — framework is how you do that. In this overview, Dr. Paleos dives into the first stage, Trust, in greater detail.
Setting Intentions
As always, setting a clear, written intention for every session is paramount. Consider creating an intention around cultivating your trust — trust in yourself and trust in the experience.
Session Prep Checklist
Treat this experience like something that can change your life (because it can!)
Write intentions for this session
Don’t eat within 3 hours or drink within 1 hour prior to treatment to avoid the slight risk of nausea or a bathroom break that interrupts your experience
Calm the body/mind beforehand (brief meditation, short walk, slow yoga, etc.)
Pets/family/roommates are out of, and stay out of, your session space
Use the restroom
Comfy clothes, blankets, pillows, etc.
Phone in Do Not Disturb mode
Spit cup for medicine, glass of water, and listerine strips nearby
Dim mood lighting (lamps instead of overhead lights, if possible)
Have your Bloombox with you (medicine, journal, pen, eye mask)
Taking the medicine
Right after you place the ketamine between your cheek and gums, play the video above. Close your eyes and soak in the message of the first track. When the music fades and you hear a chime around 7 minutes, spit out the medicine.
Journaling After Your Session
There is a second chime at around 60 minutes. You may take off your mask at this point and continue to listen to the music as you journal. Make sure to journal everything you recall that came up during your experience to solidify those memories. Powerful insights, questions, and feelings can quickly dissipate if you don’t capture them immediately!
Integration Material
Here is your personalized integration concept. Throughout our integration sessions in this program, you’re going to cover the brain science behind ketamine therapy to help you gain a clear understanding of the science and potential you have in your integration window to make big, beneficial changes to your life.
Commit to an Integration Action
Now we know that you’re in a highly neuroplastic and flexible state in the days following your sessions. Your brain is more receptive to new input and new actions, and this helps form healthy habits, behaviors, and thought patterns that you can build up and solidify.
With this in mind, as you reflect further on your experience, see if there’s something new that you can commit to doing. What’s one action you can take to start a new habit or introduce into your daily life.
To support in your integration process, you also have unlimited access to our Mindbloom Integration Circles. The circles provide a safe spaces, facilitated by one of our Guides, to share your experiences so far with the medicine and also hear about the experiences of others. In the circle, it will be at your discretion if you wish to disclose your name or remain anonymous. We do ask that you keep your video on in order to keep the space safe for all participants.
For these sessions, there’s no need to check in with your guide before or after your session.
But remember, please coordinate with your Peer Treatment Monitor to replicate the process from your first Virtual Visit and make sure to utilize each component of your ketamine therapy program – such as preparation materials, helpful tips and soundscapes for your sessions, and integration guidance.
This session focuses on exploring the first part of your T.L.O mantra, Trust, Let Go, and Be Open. Trust is a central component in your relationship to yourself, to the world, to your future, and to your growth.
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